Most Boys Are Players (and other conclusions reached with my language partner)

We don’t share classes with Suffolk students but there are clubs on campus are open to CIEE students, including a language partnership club. Over the next 13 weeks we will meet with our language partners twice a week, once individually and once with the rest of the club, to speak English, French, and Wolof. I have to admit that I was a tad nervous prior to my meeting today because my language partner, Korka, seemed to be about as shy as I am and I didn’t know how we would find things in common to talk about (as if it isn’t difficult to meet new people when they speak the same language). Of course I was nervous for no reason because people are people no matter where they come from, what language they speak, and what ethnicity you are.  

So put 2 college-aged girls together and they’re bound to come up with some topics in common and really, other than the occasional physical woes of being a girl, what’s more universal to girls than boys? None come to mind immediately and boys became a topic very quickly today. We both have had only one relationship and we compared and contrasted, coming to the conclusion that most boys are players and that what they say they’re okay with at the beginning of the relationship, quickly becomes not so okay. She told me how her mom had told her that all boys are players, except her father. Her father told her all boys are players.

She comes from the Seerer ethnic group and shared with me how one of her cousins wanted to marry her this past August during the Holy Days but she was not in love with him. She refused his proposal, which was a big deal in her family, but all along her mother supported her saying she should only marry somebody she loves. I am awed by her determination to date and marry only for love in a society that, though changing, is still very much dictated by tradition.

Family too is a universal theme that came up. We talked about how American families are so small compared to families here. She has 4 sisters (I think 4, she might have said 3) and a brother. She knows one family that is so large she said you walk into their home and it’s just bedroom after bedroom to fit everybody that lives in the home. We discussed all that our parents have done for us especially helping us to obtain an education and how we doubt there will ever be a way to truly repay them. She described her mom as “something special” and I imagine/hope the expression on her face of pure love and admiration is what people see on my face when I talk about my mom.

We ended up talking for an hour and a half and I’m already looking forward to the next time we meet with the rest of the group, on Wednesday. Her English is great, much better than my French. Today was the easy day (for me) speaking in English and reminded me that a common language is not necessary to have things in common. My next post: a minor thing that to many people is a really big difference between Senegalese families and American families.

Ba beneen yoon inshallah.